Everything happens all at once and never in pieces.

There was a brief moment when I felt myself being within someone else. I had felt this part of myself before, but only pieces, usually at night when connected with Karas. But for once, it bled out of me while doing chores. Or perhaps I bled into it.

I’m bigger, thicker, more like a fridge. Everything is stout and larger than what I’m used to. My hair is thick and long, and has a texture closer to A’s than my own. Our eyes are closer to E’s, and the skin is like A’s, with a little less red. I feel like we’re always rocking a crop top, and we’re in a location that almost seems to be lacking daytime, or has a really bizarre day/night cycle.

A city, somewhere high, somewhere busy. It feels modern, like here. But better than here. Cleaner, squeakier. Less corroded.

We’re always doing stuff. Reading. Eating. Writing. It’s not the grind of production we’re trapped in here, but more like someone who is working through things, keeping themself busy, working on stuff at a balanced pace.

Our gender is something, and it feels right, but its apparently not attainable here. Feeling a gender is so foreign to me, I’ve forgotten already what it felt like, I only know that I felt it, and it felt real.

I exist inside of a small sphere inside of us. Mostly living in there, only parts of me seeping through the E membrane into the rest. I’m merged in, but I’m also still separate. Except for when I’m not.

___

Its dark and I’m dragging myself with all of my energy out of the water.

My clothes are dark and there is a gold necklace around my neck. It takes every ounce of effort, and the going is slow. I feel as though it’s been eons since I’ve felt the surface, and my energy is mostly spent.

I pull myself far enough to be clear, and I pass out.

___

We’re walking through something of a bookstore. Its nighttime, and there are a fair amount of people there.

I notice that I’m not wearing a mask, and neither is anyone else. I begin to panic as I run outside, my keeper running after me.

___

It’s the final 15 minutes before I have to get up. I feel like I’m talking with someone at first, though there is no visual information. But then I feel like I’m falling or sliding down something. Specifically, it feels like sliding down the side of a building into someone’s window. But at the same time, it feels like I just feel a few cm above their floor and landed in their living room.

Either way, I’m in a large apt building, a style that reminds me of some of what I’ve seen in south america, and its probably 5-10 stories tall, and we’re camped in the middle of it.

I land with my head touching his foot, and I slightly tilt my head away to give us more space. I can tell that there are windows all along the wall of the living room, and I feel like we’re on a ridge, and the ocean is on display. The carpeting is a neutral beige, and the interior feels modern, but understated and largely empty.

He is still in his Egyptian garb. After all these years. THe whites are crisp as what E would wear, and there is a shrine box in front of him. His robe, his necklace, the kilt, its all there.

I struggle to tell if this is O or not at first. But he doesn’t look like O, and O can’t readily leave the Duat to begin with.

It’s only after I tell BOH that I even consider that it might actually be Ram. And I have no clue what to do with that information. I thought he was gone, eradicated through A1’s demise and redistributed just like everyone else was.

___

I feel myself being placed under a blanket. THe style reminds me of futons from JP, and the bed beneath me feels dense and woven in a way that our beds are not. I can tell that I could run away into the bedding, but I don’t want to. So I just opt to lay there and ignore the person sitting on the other side.

I still feel like his apt is completely devoid of anything that isn’t a necessity. He feels calm, and he was calm enough for having someone fall onto his floor, as though he were expecting me.

Our conversation is short. His blue eyes pierce through everything, even now. He feels cleaner than before, but also… like parts of him are missing. He suggests his necklace to help with communicating, but its hard for me to trust that. His proximity to O really puts me on edge, and I have been trying to avoid O contaminating things for years now.

I can’t tell if I’m being played, or if this was part of A1’s plan or what. bUt its hard to trust.